BOY, I wish I knew that sooner!....

My healing journey has been long-ish, I mean, it never truly ends "till death due us part", am I right? The biggest obstacle I've has on my journey: my EGO ran the show. I was not aware of this at the time, of course. I had a bit of "big head"...

Through my work with non-ordinary states of consciousness (psychedelics & hypnosis), I've learned so much around the protection that my ego tries to hold for me. When I look back at this time of my life, I am grateful for the lessons I've learned and I'm grateful for the attempted protection of my ego. But if I could give my past self a little bit of advice, here's what I would tell her:

1. I would tell my past Self to get support sooner instead of thinking I could do it all alone. My unconscious programming had me believing that I was my own greatest teacher (weird right?)... I believed that I was safer doing it by myself, I refused to allowed ANYONE to genuinely get close to me. My fear of going outside of myself was like trying to run through water..I did accomplish healing.. but boy, my processing was MUCH slower and more challenging!

Nowadays, I love getting support from my therapist or coaches, or even talking my partners ear off! What are we on Earth for but to connect with each other? :)

2. I could scream this from the rooftops: "BE GENTLER!!" I know I'm not alone in experiencing some cruel form me, to me. I had no idea how to slow things down, and honestly didn't think that was an option. (Maybe running through water made a bit too motivated..) I always forgot that the point of going deep into the darkness is so that you can come out lighter. I can be an intense person, which I love about myself. Buuuut I don’t ALWAYS need to be intensely going deep. I was under the impression that if I wasn’t constantly doing work, I was slacking off.

Being gentler with myself has been a work in progress, but it feels BEST coming from me vs anyone else. My gentleness with myself shows me unconditional love, which is the greatest medicine.

3. I.N.T.E.G.R.A.T.I.O.N!! (this is becoming one of my favorite words). I would have a major breakthrough, then walk away and think “woah, that was wild!” and that would be IT!! I wouldn’t take time to process, or even time to rest. I would just go on with my life without really fully understanding what just happened. I thought that the work was done, just like that. What I know now is that the work truly happens AFTER a breakthrough.

Allowing time to things to seep in is what makes it long lasting! and that’s why we do the work anyways, right?

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Holy Moly Guacamole.. I can I say I’ve come a long way! Of course, I’m not perfect. But I now have a better understanding of what it is that I need for myself, AND, how my ego shows up in trying to protect me from going deeper.

What have you learned through your journey? share with me! shoot me a message on social media or through email. There's nothing I love more than hearing from YOU 🤍